How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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