Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
