Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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