sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
PANTIES FOUND
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
