I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
