do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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