he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
