I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
