Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
3pm strippers are depressing
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
