I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
