Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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