Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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