I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
