i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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