you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
