This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Randomize
