if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
