walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
NoShamevember. You game?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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