I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
