you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
