my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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