Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
