Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
