Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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