made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
