I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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