I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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