he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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