just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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