I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Such a big mess for such a small penis
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
