Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
