I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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