I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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