you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
