we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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