She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
