I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Redeem this text for a blowjob
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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