I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
