Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
