Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
