Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
my god I love twenty year old dicks
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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