I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
