Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
