Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
