There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
