i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
