I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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