I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
