They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
