I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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