so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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