Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
