found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
