my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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