they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
