I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
