the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
