what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
